Merlin's Overworked and Exhausted
by fanficxo
Summary: Merlin worries Arthur after a series of fainting/seizure spells. Bromance and features Gwaine and Gaius. Magic reveal (eventually!)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**; I do not own Merlin

Hey, this is my first fan fiction, hope you all like it. Please review and suggest ideas if you like.

* * *

Merlin woke up with the most terrible headache he had ever experienced. He felt dizzy just sitting up. Gaius came in hurrying Merlin out to work. 'Quick, you're going to be late! You know what Arthur is like when you don't get him his breakfast on time!'. Groaning, Merlin got up, slipping into his clothes, and rushing out without even a bite to eat. On the way to the kitchens, he tried to recall the last time he had eaten. Two days ago. Great. Not only is he feeling terrible, but he is also incredibly hungry.

Hastily picking up Arthur's breakfast, he ran as fast as he could to his chambers, whilst still managing to balance the breakfast on one hand. Merlin rushed into Arthur's room, quickly opening the curtains after laying the breakfast tray onto the table.

'Rise and shine!' Merlin said, trying not to sound in pain, as a wave of pain crashed through his head. Arthur noticed straight away something wasn't right with Merlin. He didn't have that same happy tone as he usually did when he woke him up. Nor that smile which was usually plastered on his face. Arthur chose not to say anything, I mean, he didn't want to sound too concerned about his servant. He would be teased for weeks by Merlin, if he had sounded worried.

'You're late, again!' Arthur wined.

'Yes, sorry, I...' Merlin tried to think of a good enough reason for being late, but Arthur quickly interrupted.

'We are going on a hunting trip, prepare the horses and pack for an overnight stay'

Merlin didn't have the energy to argue. He hated hunting and Arthur knew it. Sometimes he felt Arthur just went on hunting trips, simply because he knew Merlin hated them. But he turned on his heel and left without another word. 'There is definitely something wrong with him' Arthur mumbled quietly to himself, before digging into his breakfast. He tried to push Merlin out of his mind but he couldn't. He was his best friend. The only person he trusted. But he would never admit to that. Nor would Merlin. What a weird friendship.

Three quarters of an hour later, Arthur walked down to the court yard, to find Merlin ready to go.

'Wow, what wrong with you? It usually takes up an hour to get ready' Arthur joked.

Merlin just gave a half-hearted smile and got onto his horse. Pain shot through him and he was unable to keep back a strangled cry as he positioned himself on the horse. Arthur quickly got on his horse and rode past him giving him a worried look. Without saying anything, they both rode on into the forest.

* * *

When they finally set up camp, after a long days hunting, Arthur had had enough of the silence.

Merlin was just finishing off with setting up the fire, his face was pure white and visible sweat droplets were forming on his forehead. Merlin was in deep thought, thinking about the food he was about to cook. He was so hungry and felt so dizzy. Arthur interrupted his train of thought.

'Look Merlin, I know I tell you to shut up, but it pains me to admit it but you rambling on seems to be your only redeemable feature. Tell me whats up?'

Merlin thought about what to say, he wanted to scream 'W_hats up?! I'll tell you whats up! I have a full time job working for you, I am constantly doing chores for you, and when I finally get back, Gaius piles on chores for me as well. I don't even have time to eat anymore! Oh, and did I mention, if Im not doing either of those Im forfilling my destiny by saving your ass, by using magic, which seems to be in constant trouble, and if anyone ever found out I had magic I'd be burnt at the stake! And when I finally get to sleep, it is plagued by nightmares, which wake me up every ten minutes!' _

Merlin turned to Arthur, putting on a fake smile and said slowly 'Im fine'

'No your not, tell me whats up' Arthur spat back, knowing that _'I'm fine' _was the answer he was going to get.

Merlin stood up, too quickly considering his condition, and swayed on his feet. Arthur raised his eyebrow in concern. In a moment, Merlin's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he crumpled to the ground, landing in a heap.

Arthur was over at his side in a flash, his face drowned in worry. He knew something was up.

He placed his pillow underneath Merlin's head. It took about three minutes for him to come round again. Merlin's eyes flickered open.

'What... what j-just happened?' He spoke weakly.

'You passed out, when's the last time you drank something?' Arthur asked.

'Five minutes ago'

'Oh yes, I remember' Recalling seeing him drink the last of his water. 'Right what about the last time you ate?'

Merlin stumbled on this question. And Arthur could see this in his face.

'Tell me the truth!' He said, a little too harshly.

'Two days ago' Merlin replied, so quietly, that he couldn't hear him.

'What?'

'Two days ago'

'You're kidding right?'

He could tell be the look on Merlin's face that he wasn't. Merlin was still lying down, avoiding Arthur's gaze.

'Merlin, why? Why haven't you eaten?' Arthur asked him, sounding very concerned.

'I-I haven't' had time, I've been really busy, with doing chores for you, chores for Gaius..' Damn, Arthur had forgotten about that. Merlin also worked for Gaius. '..and other stuff on top of all of that, that I simply haven't had the time to eat yet'

Merlin then sat up and went to continue in getting dinner ready.

'What are you doing?' asked Arthur, frowning.

Merlin looked at him. He still looked very shaky, and for the first time, Arthur noticed the dark circles forming underneath his eyes.

'Im getting dinner ready' he replied sarcastically 'like I always do?'

'You have just fainted! Sit. I'll do it'

Merlin snorted in laughter. 'You? Cook?'

'Oh come off it, it can't be that hard'

Merlin shrugged, obviously too tired and hungry to argue, sat next to a tree, awaiting his dinner, cooked by the king himself. He chuckled to himself, thinking of all the possible outcomes. He couldn't help himself drifting off.

Fifteen minutes passed, and dinner was ready. Arthur looked round to see Merlin asleep on the floor next to the tree trunk, he went to wake him, until he noticed Merlin was mumbling something. His face was scrunched up, like he was scared. The mumbling's got louder, until he could make out what he was saying.

'Stop, please stop! I'm sorry, s-so sorry-y! Please let me explain' Merlin started to cry, and Arthur tried to wake him by shaking him, but he seemed stuck in the nightmare.

'Arthur, I'm sorry! Please Arthur!' he raised as he heard his name.

_'What could he be possibly dreaming about me?' _He thought.

'I swear Arthur, please, let me explain!'The tears were becoming heavier. Merlin screamed. That type of blood curdling scream, that shook you to the bone.

'MERLIN, WAKE UP!' Arthur shook him harder. Getting worried.

Merlin woke with a start. Tears rolled down his cheeks, he was breathing so heavily, and shaking so much.

'Merlin, are you ok? You were having a nightmare! And a bad one at that!' Arthur was still holding on to his arms.

Merlin was still disorientated.

'Look, here's your dinner' Arthur said, a little too over enthusiastically.

Merlin looked down and the lumpy mess. Well, _at least he'd tried._ He gave a smile, without complaining, down it and made himself comfortable.

'What were you dreaming about? I heard you say my name'

Merlin froze. He was dreaming about Arthur discovering his magic, and he wasn't to pleased, then he quickly changed form and became a creature with the head of a lion, and body of a snake. He was trying to eat him. He couldn't tell him that, of course.

'You were giving me a load of chores'

Arthur knew this was a lie. But he let it go, Merlin obviously didn't want to talk about it. So Arthur gave a quick laugh and settled down to sleep.

'I'll be on watch first and I will wake you up half way through the night' Merlin said.

'Alright, just remember to wake me' Arthur replied before drifting off into a deep sleep.

When he awoke in sunlight and found everything was packed and ready to go and a breakfast ready and waiting. Merlin was sitting by the fire, glazed eye, in deep thought.

'I thought I told you to wake me up!'

'Oh, well, I wasn't tired and I didn't want to wake you for no reason' Merlin said, after jumping out of his thoughts.

Arthur noted his appearance suggested otherwise. Dark circles now more prominent underneath his eyes, and his skin whiter than it was the day before, if that was even possible.

'Right, you look awful, we can head straight back to Camelot, after I've eaten my breakfast'

Merlin nodded and put out the fire.

* * *

On the way back, the boys exchanged their usual banter, and Arthur was more relaxed, convinced Merlin was getting better. When they arrived in Camelot, Arthur was whisked off to a council meeting, and Merlin packed away everything, and then headed to Arthur's chambers to clean them before he got back to change clothing, before he dined with his knights and guests. Merlin went to collect one of Arthur's shirts from the kitchen, and bumped into Gwaine.

'Hey up Merlin' He had to double take. 'Bloody hell mate you look terrible, worse than me when I have hangovers!' He joked.

'Oh, I'm fine' He lied through his teeth. He felt awful.

'Anyway I'm in a rush, don't want to be late for Arthur!' Merlin paused. 'Shouldn't you be in that meeting'

Gwaine replied 'Oh, that, erm yes but.. they bore me'

Merlin laughed before rushing off. When Arthur got back, he was ready and waiting. He got Arthur dressed in a flash and before he knew it, he was standing in the great hall, holding a jug and keeping everyone's glasses filled.

Suddenly, his head felt like it was going to explode. Without realizing he dropped the jug, with a massive bang. Everyone turned and looked at him, but he failed to notice, concentrating on keeping up right. Before he knew it, blackness indulged his vision, as he fell unconscious to the ground, hitting his head hard on the stone floor. The last thing he saw was Gaius, Gwaine and Arthur's worried faces looking at him.

Arthur tried to not let his worry show, but he knew it was no use.

'What happened? Merlin, Merlin can you hear me?' Gaius almost shouted at Merlin.

Arthur cut in 'He fainted in the woods on the hunting trip yesterday, but afterwards he seemed fine. I thought he had told you it happened'

Gaius shook his head.

Arthur carried on, still looking at Merlin's unconscious face.

'He told me he hadn't eaten in two day,s because he had been so busy, and he ate a good amount of stew I made him, but he didn't sleep-'

Gaius cut in saying 'Someone carry him to my chambers'

Gwaine went to pick him up but Arthur shoved him out the way, and lifted Merlin, hurrying along after Gaius, who was surprisingly quick for an older man.

Merlin was so light, he could feel his shoulder blades digging in to his arms and how thin his legs were. Merlin's head was unsupported, hanging off the edge of his arm.

Placing him on his bed, Merlin started to wake up.

'Merlin-'Gaius started

'Where am I, what happened?' Confusion was written all over Merlin's face.

'You fainted again, hit your head pretty hard. Here, drink this.' Gaius advised. Merlin downed the potion that Gaius seemed to have pulled out of nowhere. It dulled the pain in his head, but it still hurt. He looked up to see Arthur and Gwaine with the most worried faces he'd ever seen them pull in his life. Gaius was cutting up some bread and cheese, placing it on a plate before giving it to Merlin.

'Don't eat it too quickly, you know what happens when someone hasn't eaten for a while, and then they decide to consume loads' Gaius said

'Yeah, they throw up' Gwaine added.

Merlin took slow bites, chewing them slowly. But his pace got faster and faster, as he only just started to realize how hungry he actually was. Looking up, it startled him to see all three of them, giving him that concerned look.

'What?' Merlin broke the silence.

They all seemed to look at each other before Gaius answered him.

'We are worried about you Merlin. It seems we have forgotten how hard you work for us, and you seem to be forgetting to look after yourself properly. You have fainted twice in the past two days. We all agree, in thinking that you need a week to recover-'

'No, I want to work, I have to work-'

'No Merlin you need to rest. I do not expect to see you working for me in at least the next four days' Arthur spoke, like it was a threat.

Merlin nodded, before leaning over the edge of the bed, and throwing up everything he had just eaten, all over the floor.

Gaius, Gwaine and Arthur, all said simultaneously 'I REST MY CASE'. Merlin hated this. He hated just sitting in bed not doing anything. He felt like if he wasn't at Arthur's side, something bad would happen to him. Anyway he felt fine. He just needed to eat more. Merlin quickly slipped into a restless sleep.

* * *

'Rise and shine!'

Arthur narrowed his eyes to focus his vision, to find Merlin standing there with smug grin on his face.

'I thought I told you do stay in bed! You still look ill.' Arthur said whilst sitting up, and making his way over to his breakfast laying on the table.

'Oh, well I feel better now.' He was lying. He felt worse, his head hurt so much. But he kept the fake smile on his face as he begged himself not to pass out again.

'You don't look it'

Merlin joined him, standing next to the table with a jug of water, making sure his cup was full. They engaged in their usual banter, Merlin getting paler and paler. He was trying so hard not to faint, but it was too much.

He swayed on his feet. Arthur noticed this straight away, and before he knew it, he was standing in front of Merlin, gripping onto his shoulders.

'Merlin, look you're still ill. Why won't you just go to bed, your always moaning about the amount of chore you're getti-'

Arthur stopped himself from saying anything further, as Merlin's head fell backwards. His body became limp. Arthur grabbed him and lower him onto the floor. Merlin's body started to shake violently. His eyes were rolled backwards, into his head, so you could only see the whites. Arthur froze in fear.

After what felt like an eternity, he stuttered out 'G-Gu-Guards! Fetch me Gaius, and be quick!'

The guards rushed in, and after taking in the scene, ran towards Gaius's chambers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer;** I do not own Merlin

* * *

Merlin's body shook so strongly, Arthur could barely keep hold of him. It felt like an eternity before Gaius turned up. Arthur could feel tears forming in his eyes, but he held back. If Merlin awoke, to see him crying, he would be teased forever, and would never live it down. Gaius sat on the other side of Merlin, checking his temperature.

'Arthur, you're going to have to let him go, and let him shake freely, whilst I put a blanket under his head' Gaius instructed him.

Arthur obeyed and let his servant shake on the floor. He'd had never seen anything as terrifying as this. Merlin was pure white, shaking so violently that he was moving across the floor. The blanket was doing little to protect his head from banging on the floor. Gaius looked worried, as he poured a couple of drop of a black think liquid down his throat, and the shaking died down until it finally stopped. Silence hung over the room for a slow couple of seconds before Gaius shattered it.

'Can somebody carry him to my chambers please'

The guards went to pick him up, but Arthur stopped them and carried Merlin for himself._ 'This is becoming somewhat of a habit' _Arthur thought to himself, trying to make himself feel better after what he had just witnessed.

Carrying him through the court yard, he could feel himself tearing up, as people stopped what they were doing, and stared in disbelief. Was their king, really carrying a servant? Apparently so. However it was no secret that Arthur and Merlin were close friends. Even if they didn't know this themselves.

Merlin was limp in his arms still, as he placed him onto Merlin's own bed.

'Arthur, if I may ask, can you leave while I sort him out, please sire'

'Will you fetch me as soon as he wakes up?'

'Of course sire'

Arthur gave Merlin one last look, as he made his way, back to his chambers, to get dressed. He had only just realized he was still in his night clothes. No wonder he was getting weird looks. He rushed back to his chambers, getting another servant to help him into his armour. It just wasn't the same without Merlin and the banter. Training was difficult. With his mind elsewhere, he wasn't his best. The knights noticed, and went easy on him. After hearing the news about Merlin's seizure, all of the knights were worried, as Merlin had touched many of their lives. He was such a loyal and trustworthy friend, and they all realized how much they had taken him for granted.

After going through a long day without hearing any news from Gaius, after his dinner, Arthur decided to go and see for himself what was happening. He hated to admit it, but he was truly worried for him. He was his best friend, although he knew he would never admit to that. Time and time again he had proved how loyal he was to Arthur, laying down his life for him, whenever and wherever he could. He trusted him more than anyone.

He opened the door, only to find Gaius in Merlin's room. He heard hushed voices. He didn't quite know what do to. It had sounded like Merlin had just awoken. He crept closer to the door so he could make out what he was saying.

'Merlin, I've told you before, and I'll say it again' That was Gaius's voice. 'You really need to look after yourself. You really should say when you feel to tired or haven't eaten.'

'I know Gaius.' That was Merlin, he still sounded weak but he sounded much better. Arthur didn't know whether to go in or not, but he decided against it, leaving them to finish there conversation.

Merlin spoke again. 'But you know how it is, Arthur needs my help. I just thought doing chores for him and you, and protecting him seemed more important at the time. I just couldn't pause for break in case I missed something important.'

_'Protecting me?'_ Arthur thought.

'Merlin, you truly are remarkable. I have so much respect for you. You save Arthur's life almost weekly, and he knows nothing of it, and you take no credit for it whatsoever. One day he will know everything of what you've done for him, and I know over time, he will have as much respect for you as I do'

_'What the hell are they talking about? Saving my life?' _Arthur was so confused.

'Oh Gaius it's nothing, really I-'

'No Merlin, stop being so modest. I'm going to say this to you because I know no one else will. Well done Merlin, and thank you for everything you have done for me, Camelot and especially Arthur'

_'What?'_ Arthur thought. He had no idea what they were going on about.

'Anyway, better go and call Arthur himself, he wanted so see you when you awoke. He looked so worried, he carried you here you know'

'REALLY? Arthur, worried... about me?' Merlin blurted out, clearly surprised.

'Yes, now, eat that broth, and slowly at that. Don't want you throwing up again..' Gaius started to ramble on about his health and what not, and he was approaching the door. Arthur ran back to the other door, and made it look like he was just coming in.

Gaius jumped at his appearance, obviously not expecting him 'Ah, Sire, I was just going to fetch you. He's just woken up. Could you please take this to him?' Gaius handed him a goblet of water.

'Sure' said Arthur, still trying to comprehend what he had just heard.

He walked into Merlin's room, to find him slouched on his bed, looking much better than this morning.

'Feeling better, I suppose?' Arthur broke the silence and handed him the goblet.

'Yes sire, much better' Merlin said before gulping down the water and starting on the broth.

Arthur perched on a stool, looking at him, as Merlin inhaled to broth.

'Better?'Arthur asked when he was finished.

'Yes thank you. So, I heard you were worried about me?' Merlin asked teasingly.

'No, its just that a good servant is hard to come by' Arthur retorted.

'Yes, but aren't you the one always saying how incompetent I am?

'Shut up Merlin'

They both sat there is silence, but it wasn't awkward. That silence said everything they needed to say. Arthur started to get up.

'Right, make sure you are fully recovered, and if you dare come back to work tomorrow, I will drag you back to your bed personally'

'Yes sire'

Arthur left without another word. He nodded Gaius goodbye. His mind was filled with the conversation he had heard before. _What were they talking about? Merlin, saving my life and helping Camelot? What exactly had he done? _Arthur decided to ask Merlin when he got better. He needed time to figure out what he was going to say to him. He didn't want to sound like he was eavesdropping.

Arthur strolled to his chambers, deep in thought, and went to bed. All that stress had really tired him out.

* * *

**WILL UPDATE ASAP!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer;I do not own Merlin

Please, give me suggestions, have no idea where I'm going with this story, all I know is that it is leading to a magic reveal! I know this is a short chapter, but the next one will be at least twice as long!

* * *

Arthur couldn't sleep. He was so worried about Merlin and was trying to figure out what Gaius had meant by 'saving his life'. He couldn't wait until Merlin was awake. So he crept down to his chambers, and crept into Merlin's room, without waking Gaius. When he entered, he found Merlin sprawled all over his bed, obviously in a restless sleep. '_He's having another nightmare?' _Arthur thought, and recalling what happened in the forest that time, he decided to try and wake him up sooner. He sat on the edge of Merlin's bed.

'Merlin, Merlin, wake up!' Arthur spoke in a loud whisper.

Merlin was drenched in sweat. He started to talk. 'Stop! Please, Arthur I can explain, just-' Arthur guessed it was the same dream he had in the forest that time. Merlin started to sob, like he was in great pain.

'Arthur, I was p-protecting you! O-on-only for you I swear!'

With that Merlin screamed and shot upright, only to meet Arthur's arms. However Merlin was still disorientated, still in his dream, and tried to fight Arthur off. Failing, he fell off the bed, still sobbing, he stood up quickly, in unison with Arthur. Finally realizing where he was, he gave Arthur a confused look.

'What are you doing here? Am I late for work?'

'No its really late. I just came to ask you something. Were you having that nightmare again?'

'Er, yeah'

'Oh, right.'

There was an awkward silence for just a moment before Merlin fully woke up.

'So what did you come to ask? And why at this time at night?'

'Well I couldn't sleep, because..' Arthur drifted off, still not sure how to word it.

'Because?' Merlin started.

'Because, er, well, I kinda heard you and Gaius talking earlier... when you woke up'

Merlin's face went white.

'And I was wondering what he meant by you.. saving my life and stuff'

Merlin looked closely at Arthur.

'You were eavesdropping' Merlin stated.

'No, I just over heard, and anyway I don't have to explain myself to you'

'And I don't have to explain myself to you either'

They both gave each other a long and thoughtful stare.

'Look, I know that you're a servant, and I'm the king, so we can't be friends. But if we weren't-'

'What' Merlin was getting impatient. He was still drowsy.

'Then I think we'd get along'

'So?'

'Sooo.. that means you can tell me'

'You're making no sense' Merlin wanted to sleep so badly.

'Yes I am. Look I don't like you keeping secrets from me, that's all'

Merlin looked at Arthur, not sure what to say. So he got into his bed and tucked himself in. He looked at Arthur, who was giving him the puppy eye treatment, even though he knew full well that Merlin didn't give in to it.

'He was just talking about the time I drank that poison and stuff'

Arthur knew he was lying. But he gave in, knowing that he wasn't going to tell him.

'Right, ok. So I will probably see you tomorrow then?'

No reply, Merlin was already asleep. Wow, he really was tired. And at that point he realized he was too, so walked back to bed, succeeding in a good nights sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer;**I do not own Merlin

* * *

Arthur woke up feeling well-rested, and relaxed. Until he remember the conversation he and Merlin had last night. He knew Merlin was keeping a secret. I mean, how did a lazy servant save his life many times? He was going to ask Gaius, he was terrible at keeping secrets.

_'You save Arthur's life almost weekly, and he knows nothing of it, and you take no credit for it whatsoever.'_ the words swirled around Arthur's head.

Quickly striding down to Gaius's and Merlin's chambers, he entered to find Gaius making some sort of potion, and Merlin wrapped up in a blanket next to a measly fire, holding a steaming cup of tea.

Gaius turned to look at Arthur, obviously surprised said 'Oh, sire, is there anything you need?'

Arthur looked at Gaius, then looked at Merlin. Merlin was very pale, it looked like he was going to throw up again. He was looking at Gaius and looked _very_ worried.

'Yes, could I speak to you in private Gaius?' Arthur said

'Yes sure, here we can speak in Merlin's room'

Merlin watched them both as they walked into his room. Closing the door after them. Merlin knew exactly what he was going to ask him. And he didn't want to be there when it all kicked off, so he put on his coat and left quietly.

Arthur started the conversation. He decided to start a little off subject, and then lead to the one question he wanted answered.

'I was just wondering what caused Merlin's fainting spells and seizures?'

'Ah, well, he wasn't eating nor sleeping properly and combined with stress, his body couldn't cope, so his body just shut down, and it slowly got worse. But I promise it won't happen agai-'

'What was he stressed about?'

Gaius stumbled. 'Er, well, you see... er, he had a lot on his mind'

'You haven't answered my question'

Gaius fell silent, not sure what to say

But Arthur continued 'Look, when he woke up yesterday, I overheard you speaking. I heard you saying how he has saved my life weekly and that I had no idea. Could you please explain to me Gaius what you meant?'

After a pause he spoke, 'I think Merlin is the one to tell you, sire'

'But he won't. I've already asked'

'Go and ask him now, I'm sure he will'

Arthur nodded, and walked into the other room to find it empty.

'He's not here Gaius, where could he have gone?'

Gaius thought for a minute. 'Try the east wing of the castle, the top of the tower. He likes to go there sometimes, he likes the view.'

Arthur never knew this. He thanked Gaius and went to find him. He found him where Gaius said he would be. He was leaning against the edge of the wall, looking over Camelot, in deep thought.

'Merlin' Arthur said in that tone he used when he was annoyed with him.

Merlin jumped out of his skin 'Oh, sire, how did you find me here?'

'Gaius told me you'd be here... he also told me that you'd tell me what he was going on about when you woke up after your seizure'

There was a pause. 'I'll tell you, its just that I don't want you to think of me any differently'

'Ok, tell me. Honestly Merlin, I don't get why this is such a big secret-'

'Because..' He took a big breath, he face was pale, his forehead was dripping with sweat and he was visibly shaking.

He continued 'Arthur, I'm.. I'm, well-'

'Go on spit it out Merlin'

There was another silence before Merlin spoke.

'I'm a warlock, I have magic.'

There was a silence which stabbed Merlin like a knife.

'Merlin, why would you say that? You don't-'

'Look. _Beale en Burner'_

His eyes turned golden as a pile of dried up leaves burst into flames. Arthur's eyes widened before he spoke.

'Leave me' Arthur said tiredly, Merlin looked at him in despair, before running off with tears rolling down his eyes.

Arthur made his way down to his chambers, and slouched on his chair. His head was spilling. He felt drunk. After everything they'd been through together, he kept that big secret from him. Betrayed him. Lied to him. He felt sick. Then there was a knock at the door, he couldn't believe it when Merlin walked through the door.

'I've come to explain'

'Explain what?! How you lied to me, betrayed me, and I thought we were friends, I thought I had your trust!'

'You do have my trust, did you really expect me to come clean to the king of Camelot who has banned magic on punishment of death? Please don't tell me you would, because we both know you wouldn't. After the conversation you'd heard from Gaius, surely you should be wondering exactly how many times I have saved your lif-'

'All of that means nothing to me, because you are the first person I actually trusted fully with my life. You were my first true friend. And all this time you've been lying to me. You mean nothing to me.'

As soon as Arthur had said that last sentence, he regretted it. He didn't mean it, he was just so full of anger. Merlin looked so hurt, he stepped back.

'Well, sire, I can assure you that I will be a burden no more' And with that Merlin turned and ran off, tears burning his cheeks.

Arthur felt terrible, and after thinking everything through in a short 2 minutes, went after him, only to bump into Gaius. Gaius pushed him back into his room and started to rant at him.

'After everything Merlin has done for you, you reject him. Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep it a secret. He wanted to tell you so much, but he knew deep down you would react like this. I have just seen him run past me in absolute tears, I've never seen anyone so distraught. You Arthur Pendragon, do not see a true friend even if he is standing right in front of you!'

'I know Gaius, I have made a terrible mistake, I was just angry, please let me go make it up to him'

'Go, and quickly, before he does anything stupid, I don't want him having another seizure!'

And with that Arthur ran to the east wing of the castle, and up the tower, in search of his true friend, Merlin. When he got to the top, breathless, to his horror, found Merlin standing of the wall edge, ready to jump.

'No Merlin! Stop, please, I'm so sorry!'

Merlin didn't even turn, he kept looking down.

Merlin said, almost tiredly 'I won't be a burden on you anymore. I've given up. All that hard work and stress to save your life, and you throw it back in my face.'

'Merlin I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of it-'

Merlin cut in 'I've lost so many friends, Freya, my father. ALL BECAUSE OF ME!'

Merlin broke down into sobs, his shoulders slumped. Arthur started to walk slowly towards him.

'Merlin, please get down, you're worrying me. Please' He started to cry. 'I don't know what I would do without you. I certainly won't me alive by the sounds of things...'

Merlin turned around. He was going to pass out. Arthur jumped forward and grabbed Merlin's hips, dragging him down onto the floor. Merlin landed on the floor, and Arthur held him down, not letting go whilst Merlin struggled against him. Then without warning, Merlin went limp in his arms, and started to shake all over. Arthur picked him and ran as fast as he could to Gaius's chambers. Gaius wasn't there, so he lay him on the floor (he would've fallen off the bed if he was put there, he was fitting so strongly) and waited for his episode to past. Gaius came in when his seizure began to stop, and looked at Arthur for an explanation.

'He was on the top of t-the t-tow-tower and then he was g-going to j-ump and-' Sobs interrupted Arthur's speech, and Gaius shushed him, and gave him a knowing nod.

'Arthur you must res-'

'No! I'am staying here till he wakes up, I owe him that much and he would do the same for me'

'Ok sire, please just sit or lie down, whilst I see to Merlin'

Gaius turned and got to work on Merlin, whilst Arthur drifted off on Gaius's bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer;**I do not own Merlin

* * *

Arthur awoke to find Gaius and Merlin sitting in front of the fire, talking. He decided to act asleep for a while as they were in a deep conversation.

'Merlin, you know you scared all of us with that act. You know you haven't recovered properly. And you haven't even slept properly with all those nightmares. And what were you thinking? Ending you life-' Gaius said but Merlin cut in.

'No it wasn't like that Gaius, I wasn't going to jump, I was calling Kilgharrah, so he would come and pick me up and take me away. I couldn't stay here. You didn't see how angry he was, what he said..' Merlin trailed off, he was very close to tears.

Arthur thought it was a good time to 'start waking up'. So, he moved a little, to make them both turn to look at him, and then he opened his eyes, and sat up slowly. Gaius stood up awkwardly, and Merlin gave him a look as if to say '_don't leave me alone with him_', but Gaius started to walk towards to door saying,

'I'm going to get some food, sire' And with that he was gone.

There was a long silence. Neither knew what to say to each other. Arthur got sick of it after a while and got straight to the point.

'You really worried me back there, Merlin.' Arthur said. At least it broke the silence, and he continued

'I can't believe you were going to jump'

Merlin said with downcast eyes 'I wasn't going to jump you know. I was calling-' He stopped mid sentence, unsure of whether to go on, but he decided he might as well of tell Arthur everything.

'I was calling Kilgharrah, the last dragon, you see... I'm also a Dragon Lord'

'That's not possible; I killed the dragon'

'No, you didn't, I told it to go, you see.. well'

'Go on'

'Well.. Balinor was my father'

'Merlin I'm so sorry. Christ Merlin why didn't you say. I basically told you to stop crying!'

'You weren't to know Arthur. Don't blame yourself. I'm sorry I didn't say anything'

'Don't you dare say sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about'

Merlin just nodded in reply. And Arthur continued.

'I want you to tell me everything, absolutely everything that you have done for me since I meet you'

'That's gonna take a while though'

'I don't care, I need to know'

Merlin told him everything. He teared up at Will, Freya and his father, and laughed at other bits. After he had explained everything, they were both starving and thirsty, and Gaius was no where to be seen. They didn't know how long he'd been, but it felt like at least a day.

'Thank you Merlin'

Merlin raised his eyebrows 'For what?'

'For everything you've done for me. You have never taken any credit and I would be dead a thousand times over if it wasn't for you. I will never be able to make it up to you'

Merlin cheeky grin returned to his face, Arthur had forgotten how much he had missed that. 'Does that mean I get a day off?'

'Two!'

Then Gaius burst through the door. He looked at them both as if to ask if they were friends again. Arthur smiled at Merlin and he smiled back. Arthur got up.

'I don't expect you back to work until you are fully recovered'

And whilst saying that, he knocked a pot off the table.

'Prat' Merlin shot at Arthur, jokey.

'Dollop head'

'Clotpole'

They both burst into laughter, and they both realized how tired they were.

'Right, I'm off to bed, and I will be visiting tomorrow afternoon. See you then'

Merlin smiled and nodded, and he knew, that everything was going to be ok.


End file.
